Wednesday, September 3, 2008

School Begins: The Mother Report


The mother seems to have survived the one and only child's transition to School Kid, after Second Day Ever of studies is completed. The expected level of Mother's recovery is indeterminate, though we remain optimistic as long as the current regime of comfort food & drink is not interrupted. Our basic report follows.
Total number of weepy breakdowns: 4 (and counting), the first of which occuring during a family viewing of Wall E, culminating in a grand display upon depositing the child in her classroom and stepping slowly away from the building.
Comfort items ingested during 24 hour period prior to beginning of school year: 1 bottle of Bell's Oberon (during aforementioned viewing of Wall E), 1 bottle of Sprecher Abbey Triple, 1 boiled egg, warm rotini with salt, 2 cocktails (Milagro Tequila and apple juice), 3 slices of pizza (previously frozen), 1/4 oz. of Rescue Remedy (essence of clematis, impatiens, cherry plum, star of Bethlehem, & rock rose mixed with brandy and water).
Both mother and child are doing well. Especially the child. The child is, in fact, FABULOUS. Report on child to follow (possibly later today if the child bothers to call her poor mother during mother's work hours). Photos will be included (images may include weeping mother).
Report on Father expected within 5 business days.

1 comment:

Norma said...

I know what you mean. I just survived the first "walk home alone from the school bus by my fifth grader." My anxiety level and blood pressure rose exponentially from the expected drop-off time to when I heard the key in the door. I am now recovering, hopefully in time for the repeat on Monday.

I'm sure that Ruby is doing spectacularly! I'm not so sure about you and M! xox N.